Shirley J. Davis (Morgan) · 2021

Some days, struggling with the symptoms of dissociative identity disorder (DID) seems never-ending. We are faced with flashbacks, body memories, and even fugue, where we wake up in strange places.

This article will not focus on the downfalls of having DID; instead, it concentrates on hope for healing from the disorder.

Healing Can Have Many Meanings

When speaking about healing from DID, there are many interpretations.

Some say that integration (the big “I” word) is necessary for healing to occur. Others say being co-conscious with alters is enough.

Still another group proclaims that they embrace their multiplicity, and that acceptance is what they call healing.

For myself, healing has meant working through the trauma memories until I am at peace with who I am and where I have been. It has also meant becoming the mother of my system and the leader who has the last word.

As the leader, as the mother, I have been able to give rest to the alters who once made my life chaotic.

Healing, in my mind, ultimately means finding a place where you are at peace with who you are and where you are going.

The Hard Work of Healing

People who live with the diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder don’t find peace by osmosis. No, healing takes time and hard work. What I mean by hard work is that you cannot go around, over, or under what happened to you, and there is no magic cure.

No matter how you describe it, healing involves psychotherapy of some sort, and sometimes other therapies, such as art or drama therapy. You cannot expect to be well after only a few sessions with your therapist. DID can take from a few years to decades to overcome. The thing is not to be afraid of the healing challenges, as the struggle is not impossible to win. In fact, no one is more capable of getting through the healing process than those who have experienced and lived to talk about extreme childhood abuse.

The long hours in your therapist’s office and the kiloliters of tears you shed are not in vain.

Being with your therapist to work on healing allows you to break the silence surrounding what happened to you. Secrecy has held you captive too long. It has become time to talk.

The gallons and gallons of tears shed in the healing process wash away the loneliness.

Can Healing Occur?

I am living proof that healing can and will occur if you stick to your guns and don’t give up. I know first-hand how hard it is to overcome the issues surrounding severe and repetitive child abuse.

I have worked on these issues for over thirty years because my mind was splintered into over one hundred pieces. I tried to give up, but I was too stubborn, mainly because my therapist had asked me, “Do you want to let the bastards win?”

Her words lit a fire under my butt that kept me moving forward.

I wish to ask you the same question: do you want to heal, or allow the bastards to win?

Healing can and does happen.

There Is Hope

It may seem like there is no end to the battle to defeat your abusers and heal. However, there is an end to it. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel is there; you may just not be able to see it yet, because the old fear and damage blind you.

It is as if we have been in a self-imposed prison in the dark of our minds. We have hidden away so well from our emotions and what happened to us that we cannot find our way out on our own. The darkness in our prison is seemingly impenetrable, and we are haunted by ghosts of the past that are just out of our sight.

Getting into therapy offers a door out of prison, but we must be willing to reach for it and turn the knob. If we do not, we will be resigned to misery forever; if we do, we will eventually find the freedom we deserve and crave.

There is hope. You can take that to the bank.

Ending Our Time Together

Healing isn’t something that just happens; it is a war that we can win if we do not give up. The enemy is our past and the people who hurt us, not ourselves. We were innocent victims who deserved much more support and love than we received. We did not deserve to be traumatized and abused. Period.

Healing takes time and effort, but it is all worth it.

I wouldn’t trade the life I have now for anything. Don’t get me wrong; I still have residual problems, such as being terrified of having a relationship. However, I live in more peace now than I have ever experienced.

“Don’t lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars shine.” — Unknown

“One of the most courageous decisions you will ever make is to finally let go of what is hurting your heart and soul.” — Brigitte Nicole

© Shirley J. Davis. Shared on Ivory Garden with the author’s permission.